To You, Who's Suffering in Silence
I can see how anxious you are, and how hard you're trying to remain calm and to remind yourself that you're in a public place and you can't let others see you breaking down. To you, who is trying hard to control your emotions and struggling to put your maximum effort into studying because you can't let your anxiety stand between you and your future, or to look as natural as possible from the outside so people don't initiate conversations you don't want to have or ask questions you're too hesitant to answer...
I can feel you.
I've been there. I’ve been through that pitch black never-ending hole. I’ve been through all the pain, suffocation, and tears. I’ve been through the fear and loneliness. I know how it feels like not to be able to trust yourself, let alone trust others.
To be honest, I wrote this for myself as much as for you. I wrote it because I needed comfort. Reassurance. Distraction. I wrote it because I needed to hear these words from someone, without feeling like a burden to them. To not let anyone know about my “weakness”. But, why am I sharing this with you? Because I don’t want you to go through this by yourself. So you don’t think that you’re the only one suffering. That it’s ok to feel weak and vulnerable. It’s ok to talk and to reach out for help. Those who truly love will make sure you’re safe and protected, they will never judge. And even though I don’t personally know you, I still want to make sure you overcome this as peacefully as possible. I just need you to know that I’m with you, you’re not alone.
You know, it took me a lot of time, a huge amount of patience, many pills and psychotherapy sessions, and certainly a lot of courage that I somehow managed to pull from deep within.It took more power and courage than I ever thought I had, but I knew deep down that I’ve got what it takes to survive. I knew that I can overcome this eventually. I believed that dim torch of hope inside of me, and I made it. And now I'm here… Better, calmer, wiser, and definitely, much stronger. Now that i’m here, I am somehow grateful for what i’ve been through. My past made me realize how strong I am and how great is the pressure I can take without falling apart. It made me appreciate being happy. It made me appreciate the “normal” daily routine that I used to have.
To you, who’s fighting in silence, I am certain that you have that little ray of hope too; because you’re still alive, and that is what matters the most.
I wish you all the happiness in the world, more importantly, I wish your inner strength guides you to the light you deserve to see. I promise you; everything will be ok eventually. Please remember, you are never alone. You got this.