A Conversation with the Ghost Inside Me

A Conversation with the Ghost Inside Me

Dear Mr. Ghost,

I don't know when you decided to take my mind as a home of your own, but I've felt your presence for as long as I can remember. I don't have a specific date for your arrival though, and I'm sure you have one but refuse to tell me.

It's true you've been there for quite a while, but it was only a year ago during the 19th year of my existence that I knew you had a name! That thrilled me, it made me feel stronger because then I knew who you were, what your weak points were, and then could fight you!

Before I knew what you were, I thought you were just me. I used to say "that's just  how I am" .
Before I knew what you were, I used to hate myself, but now I just hate you.

You sneaky bastard thought you can hide yourself without me knowing . But now I do. I know your name Mr. Ghost or should I say Mr. Anxiety?

So let's change the header a little, alright? 

Dear Mr.Anxiety, 

You think you could just make yourself at home in my head inviting your little ghost friends: depression and PTSD and God knows what else (yes I know their names too).

You think you could just keep showing me scenes and scenes of bad scenarios to make me skip some tasks? Things I wanted so bad.

Now, Mr.Anxiety I'm not going  kick you out . You may stay there, you may make life's tasks more challenging, you may make me kick and scream and pull my hair out, you may make my goals harder to reach. But you may NOT EVER, NOT ONCE make me quit, because this is MY mind and MY rules and you're not allowed to have control any more. 

Interested in joining the Life in my Days community? Check out our Belong page and subscribe to our newsletter below. 

Hanin Saleh is a medical student on a journey to find peace with her mental illnesses. She is passionate about helping others know they are not alone. She finds peace in baking and writing . 

5 Reasons Why I Identify As a Rape Victim, Not a Rape Survivor

Under Attack; Inside and Out

Under Attack; Inside and Out