If Only You Understood

 Picture Description: Quote by Lee Harper, "You never understand a person until you consider things from his point of View." A waterfall and rainbow are in the background.    

Picture Description: Quote by Lee Harper, "You never understand a person until you consider things from his point of View." A waterfall and rainbow are in the background. 

 

Hypocrisy is one of the hardest things I have to deal with in my daily life. I am constantly worried that I will say or do something that deep down I despise in other people: like saying what I think of something out loud when it’s not necessary, or mocking someone for the fun of it. That’s why I think about almost every action, and I always regret it when I don't, because I realize then that I am also a hypocrite.

I'd do the things that I hate others doing without a second thought.  But I know that as long as I try to make it right and that I’m aware of my mistakes I’m doing the right thing. I'm not perfect, but it doesn't mean that I can't constantly strive to be better. I once read a phrase that really made me think about hypocrisy, something we say almost everyday and yet don't always fully understand; “put yourself in their shoes”.

When I hear someone criticizing a human being, it really gets to me. They do it so freely as if they have every right to pass judgment.  Sure, they might have problems that to them seem larger in scale, but that's no excuse.

The worst part is that it becomes something we do unconsciously and we’re not even aware of it. If we can just try to imagine ourselves in that person’s place, to feel what they feel, to imagine ourselves receiving the same criticism we so carelessly throw out there. If only.. If we do, we wouldn’t welcome it with open arms, it would hurt us, like it hurts them. So why do some of us think it’s okay to judge and mock others but don’t accept it when it’s thrown at us?

 Picture Description: Quote on a dark grey background from quoteslife101.net, "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to n understanding of ourselves."

Picture Description: Quote on a dark grey background from quoteslife101.net, "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to n understanding of ourselves."

When you have a heated argument with someone, or you are a victim of a person’s action, try to understand where they’re coming from. Try to understand what they might be feeling, and what' s driving them to lash out. Many of us don’t realize that everyone feels differently. We feel happiness, despair, grief and every other emotion differently. Therefore we act upon them differently. Our emotions fuel our actions, so if we try to understand the cause you will at least forgive them for what they have done. We all want to be understood, so let's lead the way by started to understand the things that we don't want to.

If we can all try to put ourselves in others shoes and try to be understanding without being hypocrites I’m sure most the problems in this world, between two individuals or countries and nations , will be solved. I for one faced many problems but never solved them quickly enough because I was always trying to prove myself right, never stopping to see my role in the problem, and I despised the opposing side for not trying to understand my point. Now that I try I can see the difference, no hard feelings left afterwards, no one forced to apologize, just some deep understanding and forgiveness from both sides. 

Personally, I have to deal with this every single day of my life. I deal with it with family and friends, and my stubborn nature only makes things worse.  But I remind myself with every surge of anger towards them and with every word I’m about to utter, that as wrong as they are I’m just as wrong. As much as they’re hurting me I am hurting them, of course it’s not enough to make me the daughter of the year but it’s enough to make me a better one.

And this will not only help who you’re dealing with, if you make it loud and clear that you're trying to understand them from all the perspectives you can see, they will most likely do the same with you, and we all wish someone can understand and accept our words and actions on such a deep and meaningful level.

Of course, it's important to point out that simply because you understand where people are coming from, it doesn't excuse their actions. 

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Written by: Dee Black

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